Keep reading to discover below what I think are probably the best wedding vows I have ever come across to date.
If you were previously unaware, I am on a personal spiritual journey which is intense, actively making significant progress towards waking up to the reality of the spiritual being I am at the core of my existence. To this end I am outrageously introspective and constantly consuming spiritual food (such as books, conversations with others also trying to wake up) and further educate myself as to what this all is about and what it really means. Breaking free more and more of old ideas and deeply ingrained behavioral patterns, with the help of God along the way, I am becoming more and more independent, joyous, and successful in relationships, business, and life in general.
And it’s becoming less of a struggle too – instead of fighting forced change, I embrace it, instead of trying to make things happen MY way, I let them unfold as they will, appreciating all the good and bad as further lessons to be learned from. Therefore, I’m not really doing anything in particular except trying to get myself out of the way so it is allowed to happen, and defining myself as an individual not necessarily dependent or reliant on anything or anyone else, only the source of love, or presence of God, that has always been within me.
The traditional “I, Tony, take you Hillery, to be my wife…” wedding vows are really fundamentally flawed, it seems, in that to me it sounds like we are taking possession of another person. We are making gargantuan promises we cannot possibly keep in our human condition. This sets us up for a marriage full of desperate and destructive power plays on our spouse and a long series of painful disappointments that follow from it.
One of the books I just finished reading (very excellent and highly recommended) is “Loving Me, Loving You” by Brenda Schaeffer. The byline is “Balancing Love and Power in a Codependent World” One of the greatest takes I have from this book is these wedding vows found on page 170. If Hillery and I someday renew our commitment to each other, I would definitely use something similar to this:
“I am committed to the process of being with you and becoming the best me I can be. I will share this me with you in ways that value and honor us both. I will do my part fully to continue growing, evolving, getting to know and live my inner truth; to take responsibility for my history, my vulnerabilities; to speak on my own behalf; to own my love, my power, my spiritual lover; and to share it even in the presence of fear. I commit to doing my part to maintain the connection even as the form of our relationship changes. I commit to loving me, loving you.”
One word: AWESOME.
